My personal bailout plan


They’re hauling me off to jail tomorrow for something I didn’t do.

For the past month or so, I was supposed to help raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Because I said I would. Because I wanted to help. Because I like to believe we’re put here on earth for a reason, and that reason is to do good.



Because I’m human, I have faults. And it’s my fault that I haven’t done a good job of following through on the commitment I made to participate in the MDA Lock-Up, a fundraising event happening Thursday, June 24, at Socorro Springs Brewing Company and Restaurant.

Why I agreed to be an accomplice, I’m not sure.

My defenses were down. It had been a good day and out of the blue I got a call from this sweet-talking femme fatale from MDA. She started by stroking my ego, saying I was selected from a list of “community figures.”

I figured what she really meant was that I was a member of a select group of individuals hand-picked to carry out an important mission in the community. She enticed me further by explaining the event was to take place at Socorro Springs Brewery.

The idea of being locked up inside a brewery sounded pretty appealing at the time. Then she said that MDA would provide me with all the tools I’d need to pull it off. She made it sound so easy.

So, yeah, I told my contact over the phone. Why not? Count me in.

But I’m human, and that’s my best alibi. I bet you’re human, too, so you know how it goes. You get busy. You set things aside for later. More things come up. Next thing you know, all good intentions are about to expire.

You get a little anxious over it. You start devising ways to salvage the plan and still get away unscathed. You sit down and write a column, hoping your loyal readership will bail you out.

And that’s exactly what I need. I’ve got to raise $1,000 bail to get out of jail tomorrow and I need your help.

Actually, it’s not really me you’d be helping. You’d be helping Jerry’s Kids and the adults inflicted with a disease that takes many forms.

There are nine core diseases that are always categories as muscular dystrophy, but more than 100 other diseases that share similarities to MD, hereditary diseases that attack muscle cells and tissue, essentially rendering the muscles useless.

More than a million Americans are inflicted with one form or another. MD is progressive and most types affect more than one body system. Human parts, like the heart, the nervous system and the brain, are susceptible.

It’s an awful thing — a life sentence for the victims. But there are things we the unafflicted can do to help. The money raised for MDA’s Lock-Up goes toward the patient service program and helps fund research efforts. It can help enhance the lives of those who aren’t so lucky by sending them to summer camp or pay for a flu shot.

So I appeal to you to bail me out. Help me and help MDA. There’s two ways to do it: 1) get on the Internet and visit: and follow the simple instructions, and 2) visit me at Socorro Springs between noon and 1 p.m. on Thursday. Bring your checkbook, credit card or cash.

If you’d just as soon see me rot behind bars, that’s OK too. There are other community figures also going to jail for good: Lewis Auerbach at the senior center, Duane Baker of Puerto Seguro and Jan Gribble of ABC Dog Training, to name a few.

We all have the same motive. We’re human.