Dear Sammy

Dear Sammy,

First of all, thank you for doing this. I’ve lost my Grammie, who was a resident there 8 years ago, and I also lost my mother 4 years ago; both of whom I would ask for advice, and without them, I feel overwhelmed at times. So, I appreciate this, more than you know!

My question is something I have been struggling with a lot, especially with both of them gone. How do you make time for yourself without feeling guilty?

I have a son, who will be turning 8 at the end of the month, my husband, two boy dogs, my father, and I’m a teacher at an elementary school, so all of my energy goes to all of them. When I just need time for myself, I feel guilty, and I either cut my time short, or just go long periods without.

I would love to hear any advice you have! Take care and know that I appreciate you!

Respectfully,

Mandi

Dear Mandi,

Please remember to take care of yourself so that you may continue to take care of others. We suggest scheduling a time that works with your schedule to do something that feels fulfilling for yourself, even if it’s just an hour every week.

You can also try to take that time during your lunch break at work; grab lunch with a friend and talk, even if it’s takeout sitting in your car. Having someone to talk and connect with makes a difference.

Lastly, make sure everything you do is worth doing. If a task or situation that you’re handling isn’t serving you, try your best to make changes that positively affect you.

Dear Sammy,

I’m so happy to hear from voices in our community! I’m having some trouble navigating this situation:

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. When we first started living together, I took care of all the household needs, as he paid most of the bills. Currently he no longer contributes to the bills, and I got a promotion at work that requires a significant number of hours and responsibilities. I hardly have the energy to handle everything at work and all of the household responsibilities.

We talked about a shift in responsibility at home as I would need more help ensuring our house stays running, especially with our kids. He will do the dishes every once and a while but otherwise neglects or “doesn’t see” anything else needing done. I’m getting burned out at home. I feel like a manager at work and at home. How should I go about handling this?

Thanks in advance,

Emma

Dear Emma,

We understand how frustrating it can be to handle everything on your own. You need to have a long sit down talk with your boyfriend and discuss all of your feelings toward this. If you truly care about each other, you can both adapt to make the other comfortable. Depending on how old your kids are, have them help with age-appropriate chores.

We also recommend sitting down together to make a list or chart clearly defining each of your responsibilities per day/week, that you both agree is a good fit for your schedules.

Whether you’re facing a personal crossroads, seeking relationship advice, or just curious about what Socorro’s seasoned voices have to say, the residents at Socorro Wellness and Rehabilitation, (formerly named The Good Samaritan), are ready to listen.

To submit a Dear Sammy letter, please write to:

Dear Sammy

P.O. Box 1279

Socorro, NM 87801

The mailbox is checked daily, and all letters are welcomed with warmth and curiosity.

Or email: activity@socorrowellness.com