In the merry, merry month of Cinco de Mayo

Today is May Day, when everyone is supposed to go a-Maying. To go a-Maying, all you have to do is dance through the woods until you find the first gay blossoms of the greater stitchwort.

Now, tie your stitchwort to the top of your Maypole and dance around the Maypole while the birds eat your stitchwort. You should be filled instantly with inner peace.

Frankly (aside from the promenading around the makeshift Maypole they had us do in the second grade) I was never much of a dancer, but growing up I knew about all the dances du jour from Top 40 radio. There were songs about the Frug, the Pony, the Swim, the Mashed Potatoes, the Bird, the Jerk, the Twist, and the Wah-Watusi.

“Shameful,” my parents would say. “Those dang fool kids and their rock ‘n roll and jumping around like wild animals.”

Fast forward to 2025, and there’s still cavorting where girls are dancing and guys are still trying to keep up. Not much change there from 70 years ago, except maybe for hairstyles and hemlines.

But times change, as well as acceptable behavior.

If I may digress, according to my trusty (but sometimes dubious) almanac, a fellow named Erastus Beadle published “The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen” in the 1800s, chock-full of sound social advice years and years before the guiding light of an Emily Post or a Miss Manners, and it’s still in print.

For example:

● If you wish to make yourself agreeable to a lady, make her smile—suffer her to be superior in any encounter of wit—and she will pronounce you “the most charming of men.”

● Beware of asking the hour, or of taking out your watch during a visit; avoid spitting on the floor—your pocket-handkerchief will serve your purpose.

● The woman who wishes her conversation to be agreeable will avoid conceit or affectation, and her language will be easy and unstudied, marked by a graceful carelessness, which, at the same time, never oversteps the limits of propriety.

● In public, a gentleman never picks the teeth, nor scratches the head, never swears or talks uproariously and never picks the nose with the finger.

● Without being vain, a young girl should be careful of her person. Nothing is more repugnant to good taste than an air of neglect in the toilet and deportment of woman.

● Rinse your mouth often; in the morning, to remove the impurities of the night; after dinner, to avoid making others acquainted with the meats you have partaken of; and at night, before retiring to rest, that you may sleep more sweetly.

● As for couples, good taste will dictate the avoidance of any expression of fondness between the parties when in company.

● The hair and head dress especially require care and neatness.

I have to say that many of the dictums in that book were still strictly adhered to well into my baby boomer youth, my formative years. Although some like to presume those were innocent times, decent and straightforward, I’m not so sure. I mean, from what I hear from other people who were also in school in the fifties (and sixties), it was a pretty bizarre, if not perplexing, time. For one, you had that Cold War thing going on, and you were reminded over and over at school that “the bomb” could happen at any time, and you only had a few seconds warning to duck and cover under your desk. Kind of made one a little uptight.

It’s no wonder rock ‘n roll caught on in the midst of all that—a little bit of tension release.

But then, if you watched TV, you got the impression that everything was just fine and dandy. Nothing ominous or scary.

Sure, television and movies kept to a code appropriate for that time – music, too – but that can also go for now. Taboos back then covered things like sparing the TV viewing public of Elvis’ swiveling hips, or say, married couples sleeping in twin beds, never in a double bed.

That was all 50-60 years ago, but today we still have some no-nos on television and in music. I was thinking, what’s taboo now may not be taboo in 50 years. Shudder the thought.

Wait, am I sounding like an old fuddy-duddy?

Fear not; we’re celebrating Cinco de Mayo this weekend with all things Mexican. And why not?

Besides making merry with all things Mexican, thanks to beer companies like Corona, it ranks as the third most popular drinking day of the year in the U.S., right under Super Bowl Sunday and St. Patrick’s Day.

As for the above-mentioned Maypole, I’m finding inner peace by turning off the news.