Peanut butter, miracle cures and the Lunar New Year

Have you ever been in one of those down times? You know, when you feel like just a bag of bones and you feel like holing up for a little while. At first, I thought it might be because I’ve been bingeing on David Lynch movies this week, but no, it happens to me every year around this time, so it’s not a stretch to figure out that it has something to do with the weather. To quote Robert Louis Stevenson, “Cold blows the winter wind over hill and heather … ”

January, I’m looking at you.

Thankfully, we’re getting through it, but there are a couple of noteworthy events this month, and I’m not talking about Appreciate Your Social Security Day or Eat Your Brussel Sprouts Day, both of which are coming up the 31st.

That said, tomorrow, Jan. 24, is National Peanut Butter Day, which raises the question of the p-nuttiest. Fun fact: Archibutyrophobia is the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth. In any case, peanut butter is high in antioxidants, good for your heart, can help prevent certain cancers, keeps your brain healthy, and can help fight stress.

Coming up Monday is Thomas Crapper Day, celebrating the man behind the porcelain throne. Contrary to common belief, Mr. Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, but he did popularize sanitary plumbing and featured said fixtures in his newspaper ads. Before you knew it, people thought that an abbreviated version of his last name would be perfect to describe … well, must I go on?

Thankfully, we’ve come a way since the days of the little brown shack out back, except maybe for the aromatic porta-potties, and now, thanks to the miracles of science, we have low-flow “crappers” all over.

Being curious about the latest scientific developments, especially those related to health, I like to take a peek every so often at the most recent “wellness” claims on the internet. Apparently, “wellness” is a thriving industry. On the internet, you’ll find products for sale with decidedly dubious claims. For example, rubber toe rings for $49 to help you lose weight, bed sheets for $70 to help “ground you to the Earth,” and a salt rock lamp from India for mood enhancement.

The onions in your socks to cure asthma idea goes way back (I used to hear that from my grandmother, actually). There are also “ionic detox” footbaths, drinking turpentine/hydrogen peroxide/bleach for health, and (shudder) coffee enemas.

I’m reminded here of a novelty song by Ray Stevens that came out in 1961 called “Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving, Fast Acting, Pleasant Tasting, Green and Purple Pills.” You could say it kicked off a whole new era of serious songs about drugs.

Although some products advertised make outrageous curative claims, I admit to putting stock in some of the teas and balms and CBD whatnot, not to mention las curanderas I have met in New Mexico that are pretty good at traditional remedies.

There are still a few around who know which roots and herbs to use for particular conditions – remedies handed down from the Aztecs and probably even going back to the Moors – but most are getting on in years. I suppose big pharma has caught on to their recipes, but that was bound to happen, and although they cost a whole lot more, you don’t have to go out in the woods hunting for ingredients.

Don’t forget that beginning Wednesday, something like 1.5 billion people will be celebrating the Chinese New Year. Not that it’s a huge deal in Socorro, but since about a fifth of all the people on the planet live in China, I guess it’s something of which to take note. The principle is that each Lunar Year is attributed to a specific animal – based on the Chinese horoscope, represented by 12 animals, five elements, and five colors. For instance, I checked my birth year just for grins and found I was born in the Year of the Brown Earth Cow. Don’t ask.

Anyway, this is the Year of the Wood Snake. Mythology recognizes the Snake as a creature of healing, “which influences the physical body to shift to a more spiritual outlook,” a year to make responsible decisions to evolve spiritually, moving away from old ways and habits that no longer serve us well.

This year, USPS even released a sheet of Year of the Snake postage stamps.

In Socorro, we could also name years after animals, like maybe the Year of the Loose Dog? Or even things that everyone can relate to. Say, the Year of the Burnt Toast or the Year of the Splinter in the Finger?

How about the Year of Living in Interesting Times?