Step aside 2024, your time is up

Question: Is the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day one of the most inconsequential seven days of the year? With Christmas over, you feel like getting back into the swing of things, but wait, there’s that new year’s thing to get past first. So, not a lot gets done this week.

Frankly, in this instant-this/instant-that world, a little boredom doesn’t sound so bad, but if you listen to a teenager these days, you’d think being bored is the worst thing that could befall a person just short of death, which, I imagine, is what’s given rise to the app formerly known as Twitter. Or Instagram. Or TikTok. Or Facebook. Or the ever-popular “Please Steal All My Personal Information” social media app.

But all that being the case, boredom still happens. Especially when one’s Smartphone batteries run down, having not been charged up the night before. There’s just so much that must be taken care of in the name of convenience by golly. And in the pursuit of anti-boredom.

Dang. Without all that convenience, one might have to resort to actually thinking about something. Who knows what’s going to pop into one’s noggin?

Feeling kind of empty-headed myself this week, I’ll share some words of wisdom I’ve heard from other people this year:

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

The truth is, the early bird still has to eat worms.

Stress is when you wake up screaming, and then you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?

That last one being said, it’s not too late to be coming up with some New Year’s resolutions, you know, like I’m going to lose weight and get in shape or something else equally high-sounding.

In a way, at least for me, a New Year’s resolution is not unlike a debate topic. For example, “Resolved: John Larson will lose seven pounds between now and Dec. 31, 2025.”

We could debate that.

Actually, that one is the topmost commonly broken resolution, according to an A.I. top ten I saw. Right behind losing weight is exercising more, followed by learning something new, getting out of debt and saving money, drinking less, spending more time with family, traveling to someplace new, being less stressed and volunteering.

Of course, when binge-ing on your favorite show, the preferred resolution is 3840 x 2160p on a 55-inch screen.

If you want to hedge your bets on having good fortune in the coming year, don’t forget to sweep the floor toward the outside of the house to drive out everything bad, like making a clean start.

They say eating certain things will bring good fortune, like black-eyed peas, lentils, pomegranates, and cornbread. Some people like to eat 12 grapes at the moment that the countdown to midnight begins to represent 12 wishes.

I just hope I don’t need a password to get into 2025. And why isn’t New Year’s Eve called Old Year’s Day instead?

This, by the way, is the week of Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights as it’s also known, when a menorah candle is lit each night and kids play with dreidels. I confess that my knowledge of Hanukkah is limited, but I do know it goes back to the year 139 when the Jerusalem Temple was dedicated. I learned this a few decades ago when a friend of mine would take me as her guest to her synagogue. The service was nice, but what I remember most about it was the food. You’ve got your latkes, your jelly doughnuts, your bimuelos... and don’t forget the chocolate coins. I’m not sure if pumpkin spice has entered the tradition, but you never know.

Those above-mentioned potato pancakes sound good to me, but I think I’m going to put my diet on hold for the next few days. That’s “diet,” as in what I normally eat from day to day, not dieting.

Between now and New Year’s, we’re faced with a multitude of gastronomic deliciousness. It seems there’s always some homemade biscochitos, empanadas or those round chile rellenos lying around on which to nibble. I adhere to the philosophy that a healthy diet should include a little fat. Can I get an amen?

But if you’re really concerned with staying, you know, healthy through it all, I’ll put on my nutritionist hat and throw out these reminders. Eat more fruit. Eat only when you feel hungry. Cut back on the soft drinks… I’m sorry. I can’t go on. Talking about healthy food during the holidays harshes my mellow.

Or is it marshes my mallow?